Make the Chili… A response to my friend Dr. Monte Norwood.
This year, I hosted a Labor Day Brunch for my family. I went back and forth in my mind about hosting because of a very busy ministry and travel schedule. Prior to the summer season, I began getting my deck prepared to enjoy a fun and relaxing summer, but I have been so busy that I had not taken to the time to enjoy the fruit of my labor. Last week while I was scrolling on Facebook, I saw a post made by my friend, Dr. Monte Norwood. He shared about a friend who unexpectedly lost his wife. A couple months later they were golfing together, chatting about nothing. His friend inquired about his dinner plans and the conversation went as such:
“I told him wifey wanted my homemade chili and cornbread, but I didn't feel like stopping at the store. We golfed a few more minutes when he quietly said, “Make the chili." It took me a few minutes to realize we were no longer talking about dinner. It was about going out of your way to do something for someone you love because at any moment, they could unexpectedly be taken from you.”
Dr. Norwood’s post prompted me to thinking about the finiteness of life, so I decided in that moment to send a text to my family and invite them over for a Labor Day Brunch. What I did not realize was how much I needed to have my house filled with the laughter and love of my family. Being an empty nester, while at times can be very refreshing, it can also lead to feelings of aloneness and isolation.
As we age, family and friends age with us. Our house was once filled with children and friends of our children. They are all grown up, living in their own houses, our daughter lives in another city. Our fathers and mothers have passed away. Therefore, we and our siblings have become the elders of the family. We are navigating the natural process aging bodies and minds. Thoughts about our own morality and the mortality of our family and friends are more pronounced, often these thoughts can lead to anxiety or despair.
Make the Chili can mean several things depending on our situation in life. For me, it means living an intentional lifestyle of health, wellness, self-care, and harmony. It means paying attention to my thoughts, feelings, desires and processing my thoughts (when necessary) with family, friends, therapists, and spiritual directors. It means listening to my body and responding appropriately with healthy eating, exercise, rest, and recreation. It also means engaging in the spiritual disciplines of prayer, contemplation, fasting and engagement with communities of faith.
The older we get we begin to appraise life differently. Yesterday, Make the Chili meant, hosting a Labor Day Brunch for my family. It means spending quality time with my husband, children, family, and close friends. Laughing heartily, loving them deeply and taking every opportunity to make new memories.
I leave you with the words Dr. Norwood used in concluding his post, “Next time someone you love wants you to go for a walk or watch a football game or play a board game or just put your phone down and give them your undivided attention, just do it. “Make the chili”
Dr. Toni