This year has been an unusual year in my life. It’s a year I will never forget because on May 28, 2021, my mother made her transition from life to death leaving a deep void in my heart and family. Yet, I have found comfort and meaning through my travels. It seems that traveling has given me space and opportunity to reflect on the meaning of life and to seize opportunities to be refreshed and heal as I grieve. Even as as I’m writing this blog post, I am in Asheville, NC with my husband. This is an annual vacation that we take to celebrate his birthday and to exhale from the year. This birthday getaway also provides space for us to reflect on our year as a couple, as parents, and pastors and to gain clarity concerning our vision and goals for the coming year.

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I just returned from a refreshing sabbatical season. So often we think of sabbaticals as “time off work.” While it does require that we strategically disengage from our usual work, it is so much more than time off from work. We live in such a fast-paced society that is fraught with calamity, natural disasters, political ideologies, religious wars, economic and social upheaval. These and other life stressors give little to no room for us to disconnect and engage in activities that refresh our souls.

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I recently embraced a mantra that is carrying me through my current situation in life. I am celebrating my daughter’s graduation from Spelman College, her acceptance into the Master of Music Program at Ohio State University and her initiation into Alpha Kappa Alpha Sorority, Inc. On the other hand, my sisters and I are caring for our mother who has been diagnosed with cancer for the 2nd time in 2 years and recovering from 2 recent strokes.

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I recently learned a new self-care concept in Clubhouse with the Black Women’s Leadership Network. Our guest presenter, Connie Lindsey, Executive Vice President for Global Diversity, Equity and Inclusion at Northern Trust stated she has learned the art of “strategic disengagement” in her life and work in Corporate America. Of course, strategic disengagement, resonates deeply with my passion for modeling and teaching self-care, soul-care, health and wellness for women of color.

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Sitting in a talk given by Dr. Consuela Ward, On Healing Black Girl Pain, she states, “Our story begins with our mother’s story.” I thought, Yes! My mother, Margaret Griffin Baker was the 2nd child born to her parents, L.C. and Willie Mae Adkins on April 13, 1946. She was born in Cook County Hospital and raised on the South Side of Chicago. Mom grew up very poor often referencing how she and her siblings rotated days in elementary school because they had to share shoes.

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Self-love is defined as an appreciation of one’s own worth or virtue. It is a proper regard for and attention to one’s own happiness or well-being. Lest you think that I am speaking of an inflated love of self, or an inordinate pride in oneself, conceit and narcissism, allow me to disabuse you of that thought. Often, we are reluctant to promote self-love, because we confuse it with selfishness. Sara M. Bosworth states, Self-love begins when we observe our actions and words with compassion as if we were our own best friend. When I speak of self-love, I am speaking of a healthy love for ourselves.

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It’s the year 2021 and we are still in a global pandemic. We are in the midst of a changing administration amid one of the most intense political climates of American history. Yet, there is still a sense of anticipation and excitement that a new year brings.

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To survive anything is a reason to celebrate. The month of October is dedicated to awareness and prevention of breast cancer and intimate partner violence. You and I may not be a breast cancer or survivors of domestic violence, but we all have something we have survived.

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